There are times when i look around myself and realize that not everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. In fact i dont think people even think about where they want to get to, let alone hurry to it. Then there is me. Hurrying all the time. Would probably help if i knew where i wanted to go though.
I've been accused of several things all my life. One is not knowing what i want. Another is about windmills. First things first. I do know what i want. And knowing is the damned problem. Most people want to make boss by x , retire by y, start their own business by z, blah blah blah. I want to build a house. A house which i design. Which i furnish. Which i own. I want to travel the world. I want a phd. I want 30 visas on my passport by the time i am 30. I want to learn. So why do people say i dont know what i want??? Unfortunately i know the answer to that as well. Thats coz what i want doesnt really gel with the idea of "what is expected" of a 20-something professional. Add to it, the fact that the said professional is female; then any mention of home and hearth is percieved as the fact that i am ready to slow my career down for the sake of marriage. Guy gets engaged - reaction: Good for him. He is settling down. He will be stable. A long distance runner for the company. Girl gets engaged - reaction: Oh God. She will not travel. She will have "other priorities" ; she cannot concentrate on her work; blah blah
Probably the most cliched male-female in the corporate world thing. It is such blatant double standards which brings out the pessimist in me.
Then there is this thing about windmills and me. Recently i made a statement that just because some circumstances or events worked out favourable to me, doesnt mean i agree with the principle of the said event/ circumstance. I once argued with my english teacher in school because she had given me higher marks than my classmate despite both our answers being the same. She obviously didnt take kindly to the whole issue. And i was told to shut up as i was not affected. Today, im told much the same thing. But u know what, i think i need to keep fight those windmills. Else the windmills would keep churning our garbage and dust which will ultimately choke me of whatever ethics and integrity i possess.
Life is a bitch. Then you die
The universe started with a bang. It will end with one. Soon.
Im stuck between life and universe. And not smart enough to cut my losses and run.
Bah.
(If you read this hoping for some connection to the Arthur Dents and Fords and trillians of the fictional world, there is one. Didnt this post read like it was written by Marvin???)
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