Its that time of the year (Again)

The end of a year, and the beginning of another

Is a point in time that is very reflective

Makes one wonder of things gone by

And how they could have been better

But forgetting that they could have been worse too

Its a time to recollect the things

You thought you 'd do, but never did

People you thought you'd meet, but never did

Fences you thought you'd mend, but never did

Hopes you thought would fruition, but never did

What about the other things that did happen

People you never thought you'd meet , but you did

New things achieved that was never on the cards

Bridges that were built that were never conceived

The new strength that you found when hopes were dashed

What's a year but 365 days completed, and more ahead

That's true of any day in the calendar

Still, in this day and age of fast paced action

Its as good a time as any to pause and reflect

On what has gone, and what is still to come...

Marriage myth: The goal of marriage is for both partners to get exactly what they want

The goal of marriage is for both partners to get exactly what they want

The notion that marriage is a way to achieve fulfillment is relatively new. For a long time, people married out of economic necessity and to have children. Now, many people think of it as a road to personal satisfaction.

Many complaints about marriage go something like this: "I am not happy with him anymore. I don't feel fulfilled." Such complaints are a result of overblown and misguided expectations.

You may see signs that this myth is interfering with a marriage. One is when a partner says, "If you loved me you would . . . (check the choice or choices that apply):

• Spend more time with my family

• Make love to me more often

• Take the vacation that I want

• Not criticize me so much

• Do more household chores

The message here is, "You don't love me unless you do exactly what I want."

There is also a flip side to this myth that shows up when one partner demands that the other accept his love on faith — even when his words and actions convey the opposite message.

If, for example, your spouse complains because you forgot her birthday, it's not enough to say, "Don't you know I love you?" There is no justification for expecting our partners to forgive our thoughtlessness by simply declaring our love. What that amounts to is just another way of manipulating the situation so you can have things exactly as you please.

All of us have a right to want our needs fulfilled, but it's important to be realistic. Even in the best of marriages, a spouse can provide just so much fulfillment. The rest may have to come from children, from work, from the pursuit of various interests, or from within.

Read more: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/deflating-six-common-marriage-myths.html#ixzz1SjcVwVb7

Read more: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/deflating-six-common-marriage-myths.html#ixzz1SjcJvEm9

Schizophrenia and technology

I've not blogged for almost 2 years now... and every once so often i remember that this blog exists-and urge myself to pen some stuff. But somewhere along the line, i never bothered to update the blog.

I've been thinking of this topic for a while now. And couldn't find a place to air my thoughts till i remembered that i have my own nook to write my own stuff... Of course, i also did put in a 1 liner update on facebook on the topic...

I was quite frustrated one day - dont remember with what, was it life in general, work related stuff, people at home or anything else. And i wanted to vent out my feelings in public - kinda gives the comfort that people are listening. And i thought to myself, why dont i create an alias facebook profile which doesn't have any of family, friends or colleagues in the network? That way i can rave and rant to my heart's content and get sympathy from strangers.

Suffice to say, i never did go ahead with that plan, but it got me thinking that if multiple personalities or schizophrenic behaviour was tough to trace a few years ago, it would be worse now. I could create profiles, login from home and be completely someone else online with my own fantasy life, and noone in my real life family would know about it. - Boggles the mind doesn't it?

Another thing that added on to my thoughts on this topic was the fact that i had started using a second Sim card as a alternate mobile number. And this was helpful when we were doing some house hunting. I would call from my regular number and get all details, and cross check them from my second number using an "alias" personality. If i was doing this, with full cognizance of the reasons and rationale, imagine the folks who have discovered the anonymity that a mobile phone has afforded them. Unlike fixed line connections, there is no address/ name lookup facility for mobile numbers. Unlike fixed line connections, i can easily acquire a number and discard it as my whims and fancy tale me.

I know several folks use alternate email IDs for chatting with strangers, for signing up on websites which may tend to spam your mailbox etc. But i never realized it was symptomatic of a larger problem, which now can only grow larger.

On the positive side, what is the harm if we do have an alternate "online" or "mobile" personality? It may relieve the stress of daily life and provide some fantasy in an otherwise boring life... as long as we don't confuse reality with fantasy