Sometimes conversations you have had in the past creep out of your memory for no reason whatsoever. One such conversation came back to me today. This happened more than thirty months ago, when i was out with a colleague of mine.
Rewind. I was driving home from lunch when i heard from a friend that my roommate from college was going to marry a common friend. I got worked up, and not thinking too much about who i was with, i called her and chided her about it. That done, i put the conversation aside, happily enthused to my colleague about her marriage, and went on with my life.
Cut. Scene to 6 months later. Appraisal time. Said colleague is involved,and guess what. He uses that incident to cite how "away from people" and "distant" i am. Stupid me hears it out, and puts it out of my mind. Though it kept niggling me that something quite wasnt right about how a personal incident that ocurred in front of someone who i trusted was used against me.
Forward. A couple of weeks ago, i get back from a client and walk into office, and in a general chit-chat, mention how well qualified and competent the client staff seems to be, despite my expectations otherwise. Said colleague/boss nods. And says nothing.
Fast forward...and pause. Very recent appraisal conversation. Reminicent of group interviews from MBA days. Out of nowhere, no context watsoever, Said colleague uses the above incident. Tells me out of the blue, that the client in question was in the papers for some issues relating to technical glitches. and mentions, in front of the other people on the table how i had believed them to be technically sound.
Rewind (slowly). A couple of days ago, i hear something that gets on my nerves. Repeatedly. So i need to get it off my chest. And decide that i shall choose the person who should be (by virtue of his position) the most mature individual around. And i rant to him. End by telling him that it was not serious, just that i dont want to regret not discussing this with him, and that i feel much better now. Also tell him not to take it seriously.
Forward: The very mature individual quotes my words to all and sundry using my name. Whatever happened to discretion i say?
Stop. Think. Moral(s) of the story, which i need to really learn.
- When you are the boss, discretion definitely not a virtue you practice. At least mine doesnt.
- In professional life, everything you say, can and will be used against you. Finally i have learnt that
- There are very few friends at work. And most of those friends will , when faced with a scenario, choose to sacrifice that friendship for professional gain. Learnt that the hard way too.
People think they know you. But the only person who knows you best is yourself. As long as i remember that, i can and will survive. After all, this too shall pass!
C'est la vie
Damn, i sound morbid.
