The bulls and bears!!!

After what seems to have been an allround depressing day, i decided that i might as well as do it all today. So i did the one thing ive been dreading for months now...

Opened up my trading account...

And discovered that there is always reason for a day to get worse. Quite a difference that...from my normal attitude that things can only get better, a.k.a. there are always five billion people give or take a few million who are worse off than you...

My portfolio results - 30% loss on my mutual fund holdings, 10% loss on equity.

Shocked. Coz i got into the market at 5000 levels of the sensex. And i sustained my profits after that through thick and thin.

But then, the optimist in me (Which surprises me by still being alive) tells me that i should relook and pick more of my stocks at current levels. After all, wasnt it phil fischer (or was it ben graham) who said that you cant time the market if you go for a value pick.

So let me do what i am best at doing...making the best of where i am... My stock picks were known for being spot on a few years ago. I shall revert to type and dig my nose into numbers and data again. After all, the markets down, what better time to enter!!!

Music that makes me want to smile, laugh and cry at the same time!!!

I watched ABBA the movie (a.k.a. Mamma Mia) recently. It revived a lot of memories in me, including some of my fav. lyrics which have made me break out into a smile, laugh outright or go all gooey-eyed. And as i watched the movie, i recalled pieces of the lyrics which do that to me...

• "Don't go wasting your emotion....Lay all your love on me"
• "It was like shooting a sitting duck
  A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck
  I still don't know what you've done with me
  A grown-up woman should never fall so easily"
• Chiquitita - the song which i can easily listen to five times in a row...
  "So the walls came tumbling down
  And your loves a blown out candle
  All is gone and it seems too hard to handle"
  "Chiquitita, you and I cry
  But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
  Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
  Sing a new song, chiquitita"
• "Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
  Like a melody can?
  Well, whoever it was, Im a fan"
• "If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
  You can take the future even if you fail
  I believe in angels
  Something good in everything I see"

The class...

This is one bit of poetry which is a class apart...and ironically, i remembered this when i was mentally reviewing the story of "The Class" by Erich Segal...He uses this poem as a lead-in to Danni Rossi...

I thought the sparrow’s note from heaven,
Singing at dawn on the alder bough;
I brought him home, in his nest, at even;
He sings the song, but it cheers not now,
For I did not bring home the river and sky

- Emerson (From "Each and all")
http://www.bartleby.com/248/151.html

The other one that stays is

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous,
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse

Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead?
Will we have rainbows
Day after day?
Here's what my sweetheart said:

Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.

Missing you

There are the oddest times i miss you... and today was one such day. I wonder how life would have panned out had you been around... Would i be where i am today? Would you look at me and be proud of who i had become, or would you have expected more? Would you have been that strong shoulder i miss, or would you have dominated my life so much that i could not move? Would you have loved the chattering i do, or would you have shut me up? Would i have disappointed you when i fell in love, or would you have loved the guy just because i did? Would i be a different person than who i am today? Would i be more "acceptable" rather than the rebel? Would mom not have lost as much weight? Would sis be so insistently independent?

The first time i heard this poem read out, i remembered you. And everytime i repeat some of these lines, you are the only person i think about.
================================
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
================================
I wonder...
... I miss you
...I wish you were around

Some good quotes i found...

Albert Camus
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

"On certain mornings, as we turn a corner,
an exquisite dew falls on our heart
and then vanishes.
But the freshness lingers, and this, always,
is what the heart needs.
The earth must have risen in just such a light
the morning the world was born."

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Laugh and the world laughs with you,
Weep, and you weep alone;
For this brave old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.


So many Gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
When just the art of being kind
Is all this sad world needs.

So you think you disappoint me???

I once wrote this word as a response to a comment i had received. Its probably appropriate that i publish it now

Does this sound like you disappoint me???

• I wake up to a face i can see for the rest of my life
• I get a call in the middle of the day just to say hi is how
• I catch myself practicing my "ennama varaya" stance in the middle of office near the coffee machine
• Four out of five times, i think "how did i get so damnnn lucky"...Once, i do think, "how did you get so lucky"...well, i am human right?
• There are times when you are fast asleep and im kicked just looking at you that way
• I am so glad that there is someone around with whom i dont have to defend my romance novel fetishes...
• Somedays, i dont wish to sleep because the day has been perfect
• I wake up thinking that im glad you stuck to me despite the cactus exterior that i showed you

If you still think you disappoint me, please do so all my life:)

Countdown

Metamorphosis...

Discovery of today

 

1. Biology. a profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life history of an organism, as from the caterpillar to the pupa and from the pupa to the adult butterfly.

 

2. a complete change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation by magic or witchcraft.

 

Im experiencing the change as per definition one, and have seen the change in someone as per definition two. I wonder if metamorphosis can be reversed...

A goldfish, water and a baby

What is common to goldfish in a bowl, flowing water and sleeping or playful infants? The first two are used in relaxation therapy. The third I think is more effective than the first two combined...

 

Why this sudden discovery? Well imagine a day which has upto now gone wrong in every possible way.And the evening ends in a nighmarish fashion. Now imagine that at the end of such a day you spend some time watching a baby sleep. Or better yet flail its arms around in a manner so unco-ordinated that it is captivating in its innocence.

 

You cam stare at the bluish grey eyes for hours together and mutter nonsense in any language as baby tries to test her jaws on your thumb. And what strikes at that moment is the thought that while you might have had a day that has posed grave questions to you about your future, it all pales in comparison to the fact that you are holding a scrap of the future in your hands

Meanderings of an idle mind

Being idle is a two-edged sword. It gives me time to think, and too much time to analyze. For example, today, between loads of work, i had moments of absolute idleness (self-imposed). And i ended up analyzing the various options i had post Friday the 18th of July, from a work perspective.
One option was landing a new client (looks highly improbable). Second was hoping someone would pass on leads (even more improbable). Third was a move to a new team whose work content would be substantially in line with my skills, but the move may not be politically correct. Fourth was the option of a new job. Fifth was the option of a break. Sixth was the option of sitting tight on my butt and enjoying the ride while it lasted.
I think six sounds good. I shall get my nose back to the grindstone

On random poetry which I don’t understand, but can author…

A poem I picked up today, but just cannot seem to understand reads…
“The thing we long for, that we are
For one transcendent moment,
Before the present poor and bare
Can make its sneering comment”
But it was in an anthology of poems, so someone understood something right? So here goes my two bits for deep, deep deep poetry (read: ramblings which have a meaning so deep, that neither the author, nor the reader gets the meaning)

“Hark now hear, the angels sing
The world is not prepared for spring
Let the incendiary moment pass
For there is a shortage of natural gas”

Or better still, sticking to Lowell’s style

“What we want, we really do not want
It’s a momentary aberration
Before we realize that
When we need, we don’t really need”

Wow. Wordsworth, Blake, here I come…

The heart is a strange thing...

Nah, that aint a post by me... Just a poem i came across in one of my poetry volumes today... A poet whose works are not available on google!!! And wif i dont post, will be lost in the 700 page tome... so here goes

The heart is a strange thing
It has no eyes
But it can see through dark earth
And beyond blue skies

The heart has no hands
But, knowing love’s touch
All the hands of the world
Cannot do as much

The heart has no feet
But it may go
Swiftly to Heaven above
Or Hell below

The heart is a strange thing
More strange than the head
Sometimes it may live again
After long dead
-- Minnie Case Hopkins

In a circle of a hoop

…And we are all connected to each other
In a circle of a hoop that never ends…
Lyrics from a old favorite song of mine, which never fails to uplift my spirits….

What got me started on this topic was a sentence I read my life could be, in someway, linked to the random guy on the street. And this in turn lead me to think of the concept of six degrees of separation. Essentially, that we are all connected to each other, or apart from each other by just six people in between us. Fascinating. But if you think about it, very probable. Now as fascinating as this may seem to me in theory, it’s the ramifications of this that makes me wonder…

An action, a reaction or a non-action of yours/ mine, could potentially have an effect on that random guy on the street, or a pygmy in Ethiopia. Or closer to home, on someone you never imagined would be connected to the situation in the first place. Call it the “butterfly effect” of a sort (I learnt a new phrase recently), or a “chain of events” which was beautifully depicted in the movie “Teen deewarein”, it makes one conscious of the power one wields in the scheme of things… A spoken word, a withheld phrase or a shove on the road, may ultimately make its way to an unintended recipient and cause havoc in his/her life.

So the next time I decide to speak up for the heck of it with no intent or justification, ill think twice. Maybe the pygmy in Africa may have a better life…

Why???

Why is it that i...

 

• Feel like listening to rap songs when i have a cold
• Have tissues strewn all over even when i do not have a cold
• Miss butterflies at all odd times
• Dirty my desk faster than i can clean it
• Cannot have a handbag that lasts beyond 2 months without a hole in it
• Re-invent the wheel when Bridgestone is already around
• Want to eat pani-puri from the roadside when im not supposed to
• Want to eat rasagullas and rasmalai suddenly in the middle of winter
• Hum the oddest songs at the oddest times
• Whistle out loud to get my boss's attention in office
• Write blogs like this one on a random basis

 

Ha!

The best is yet to come...

There are days you never want to go to sleep,
Yet others you never want to wake up on.
Still rarer are days when you go through both
So if today is one of those, rare and wonderful days
Buckle up and enjoy the ride, the best is yet to come

Dodo

The dodo (Raphus cucullatus) was a flightless bird endemic to the Indian Ocean island of Mauritius. Related to pigeons and doves, it stood about a meter tall, weighing about 20 kilograms, living on fruit and nesting on the ground.

"Dodo" is also often used as a term to describe an unintelligent or deranged person, since the dodo had a reputation for an unintelligent lack of fear of humans.

The traditional image of the dodo is of a fat, clumsy bird, hence the official scientific name Didus ineptus.

...Butterfly...

"Oru pattampoochi nenjukkulle suthugindrade"

Sticks and Stones...

When I was a child,or rather, from the time I was a child, I have been accused of speaking too much. I don’t think I ever paid too much attention to that.
(Had I done so, I’d have shut up and stayed a loser, and this blog would have been non-existent)

When I was growing up, I was reprimanded in the front of the entire school by Sister Mary Patricia that I was speaking too fast. That was when I was nine. I didn’t speak in public after that till I was fourteen (Ironic that the topic of the speech made “as if you are going to catch a train” was perseverance)

When I grew up, my boss(es) told me that I speak without thinking. That I bruise people’s feelings and trample on them with zero sensitivity. I processed that information. And I mellowed down over a period, and tried to practice more discretion

When I was busy trying to be discreet, I was informed that I was a closed person. That I spoke without really telling anyone anything about myself. I was talkative, but noone knew who or what I was. So I tried to let people in.

So much feedback, So much confusion. What can a girl do? So now I speak too much, quite fast most of the time, without thinking, regardless of who it affects, with a view to be more “open”. Perfect recipe for disaster

Ships that pass in the night...

Two verses i came across which use a phrase which i like a lot...but in very different meanings...
==============================================
“Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence”
- Henry Longfellow (This is the poem where the phrase originated)
==============================================
“There are those who pass like ships in the night,
Who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight
With never a backward glance of regret;
folks we know briefly then quickly forget.
Then there are friends who sail together,
through quiet waters and stormy weather,
helping each other though joy and through strife.
And they are the kind who give meaning to life.”

(Author unknown)
==============================================

Down memory lane…

Of late, I have caught myself wandering down memory lane a bit more than is usual for me. The oddest things trigger the oddest memories…

• Waking up in the morning to the strains of Vishnu Sahasaranamam takes me back to what I call the golden age in my life… Kerala-Karnataka days. When mom had her way, it would be Kanda Sashti Kavacham, and when dad had his, it would be Vishnu… Combined with Lalitha and Mahishasura mardhini, it was the traditional way to start the day in a city which spoke no Tamizh, and we had no cable those days…

• Songs of the 70s and early 80s – Hindi and English… Dad’s albums of BoneyM and ABBA still are with me. I have Disco Dancer, Chaudhvi ka chaand, Hits of geeta dutt cassettes from an era before hindi compilations really were “in”. Pop songs of Alisha (Baby Doll) and Nazia Hassan (Disco deewane) from a time when pop in India was in its most nascent stage. It’s been 15 years since Dad was around. But his cassette collection – still intact!!!

• I passed through a church in Bangalore the other, and remembered that its been awhile since I set foot in one. Not counting my visit last year to Roslyn Chapel in Edinburgh. But that triggered more memories of Kollam. Morning mass at school was restricted to catholics, and I used to spend time after lunch there just sitting at the pews. Evenings to the Ganesha temple almost every other day. And never a moment of conflict. Never did mom ask me why I loved the church. Or why I read the bible cover to cover after I finished devouring C Rajagopalachari’s Mahabharat. I remember my term exams, which used to be 2 a day, 830-1130 and 130 to 430. I hated studying last minute and comparing notes, so I used to sit by the chapel side, watching the waves go up and down rhythmically before my first exam. And I got into the habit of spending one hour between two exams in the chapel. Silent. An achievement indeed, given my affinity for the spoken word

• I saw someone post a review of Mills and Boon by an author called Jessica Steele. And it kicked off a whole host of memories. This happened before I used to be a afficianado of this genre, and my sister used to read them all the time. I loved our public library in Kollam. Looking back, given it was a government one, I realize it must have been one-of-a-kind in its day, as it had a whole host of genres of books from M&Bs to Tamizh books by Sivasankari to Enid Blytons. I used to blindly pick up M&Bs for my sister from the racks. And I remember that I picked up the same book (I even remember its title – “No holds barred” by Jessica Steele) every alternate week for her till she blew up at me and told me to stop being so charitable!!!

• Went to landmark last week. And not the new ones, but the one on NH Road, the original store. What a visit. As I browsed through the aisles, a host of memories hit me. Of picking up archies and enid blytons. Of shopping in nearby FAMCO during my summer vacations before heading back to Kollam or Gulbarga. Of meeting my mom and uncle who would join us from their visit to the dentist…And the smell of books. Wow. I used to go shopping once a month in Kollam with Dad, to a shop called Caroline. The store was the only one which stocked Asterix/ Archies/ Tintin. And that monthly visit was a pilgrimage for dad and i. We would feel bereft if that didn’t happen.

• And finally, I saw a movie (albeit a lousy one) at Prarthna. A place we used to go when my aunt got her first car, a 800. My first ever theater movie was with my aunt and cousins in Albert. (Jackie Chan, Meals on wheels). My second was at Prarthna. I think it was Singaravelan, but I may be wrong. We used to literally picnic to prarthna with first cousins, to third cousins. From in-laws to best friends. From Beach chairs to Jamakalams. From home made curd rice, to prarthna fried rice… We saw movies from Singaravelan, Kalaignan, Ullathe allithaa, Baba, Alaipayuthe, Dum dum dum, Mahanadi, Duet and a zillion more…

Damn I miss those days.

Dasavatharam (Or) How i stroked my ego with a so-called magnum opus

In 1964, Stanley Kubrick made a movie, called "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb". Now i have never seen this movie, except for the scene where one of the characters rides a neuclear bomb. Which is probably the most famous scene in this movie.

Then Why do i remember this movie? Because i saw Kamalhaasan's latest movie. Which i believed should have been titled a-la-Kubrick as "Dasavatharam, or: How i stroked my ego with a so called magnum opus" or... "Dasavatharam or: Why the tsunami came, and why the heck cudnt it have carried away kamal with it"

Much has been written about this movie, by many a fan, and many a critic; All first hand comments i have heard have all been un-complementary (i shall refrain from using the word deregatory, lest i get sued for slander). I thought i'd post a review. But instead, i have decided to post it based on a series of comments i was sending to my friends and colleagues via sms which probably sums it up better. So here goes...

• Watching 10-avataram
• Avatar no 1 is too gory for words (the 12th century one)
• Konjam jaasti tamizh. enakku puriyala (ditto)
• Horrible start to dasavatharam - pakaadha
• Avatar no 1 drowns tied to a Vishnu statue in the despotic reign of some unheard of Chozha king who has a shivite fanaticism.
• Indha padathula avatar no two ships himself to India. As part of a courier package. How horrible
• Mallika doing a cabaret in las vegas for a tamil song. This is three much
• How many levels in the parking game on iphone did you complete
• Renegade CIA agent Kamal is now hunting for the biological weapon which scientist kamal couriered to some address along with mallika, who is a tamilian cia agent trained in Pakistan. Now they are going to Chidambaram to find the weapon where Asin, (the grand daughter of Old Woman Kamal ) is singing a Bhakti paadal
• Now Avatar no 5, named Avatar Singh (what an imagination) who is married to Jayapradha, and happens to be a Punjabi sing(h)er who sings in Tamil, is diagnosed with Throat cancer
• Movie sucks. The most scary avtar is the old woman. Incidentally, she is locking herself in a cupboard.
• If you still want to watch this movie, you are a glutton for punishment. U can watch in any language, its all the same
• Now RAW head Kamal is after the renegade CIA and scientist because the old woman Kamal threw the weapon into the Perumal ( Vishnu’s) statue (which was hollow – how I wonder)
• Now avtar no 9 (or is it 6) – social servant kamal is exposing the sand stealing mafia in the media (Live on tv). Incidentally, it is in this sand quarry where the perumal statue is buried by scientist Kamal and Asin to keep the biological weapon cool
• Now sardar kamal who has cancer if the nosebleed variety has decided to singh his swan song. But his medication ka dabba is switched. And with what? A lookalike dabba which contains the perumal statue.
• Somewhere in this mess, comes a tall Kamal, obviously uncomfortable on stilts… As a muslim pathan who talks Junoon Tamizh. Why he comes? I have no clue. Oh, yeah, there is KR Vijaya as his “Umma” and Nagesh somewhere in the frame.
• Now there is a face off on the shores of Some place. Supposedly Chidambaram or thereabouts. Looks like velankanni to me. I hope the two places are close by. Else its a boo-boo. There is CIA agent vs scientist. With the RAW fellow hovering on the top in a chopper.
• Now, Karate master kamal decides to avenge the death of his protégé who the renegade cia agent kamal killed, so there is a three-some. Yuck. Except its all three Kamal. Even more yuck
• Oh yeah somewhere in between, they remember that the weapon can be destroyed by NaCl. Loads of it. Tons of it. And President Bush is told about this. Bush (Kamal again) being who he is, and this is the most realistic portrayal, doesn’t understand NaCl, and asks if the weapon can be bombed with nuclear bombs instead
• Renegade CIA agent is almost routed by Karate Master. Decides to kill himself (Hara-kiri, except it’s the American version – “If I Die, the world dies” types). Swallows the weapon. Coughs blood, dissolves makeup. Dies a gruesome death, and infects the blood with the weapon.
• All desperate to see how the infection can stop.Enter the tsunami, which brings required salt. People die. Virus also dies.
• Hence tsunami had a purpose, and it also throws out the 12th century vishnu statue which was sunk in scene 1 of movie.... Proving what goes in comes out. Yuck
• Oh yeah, and the Singh Kamal, with throat cancer, is shot at some point by CIA Kamal. And miracle of miracles…what happens? Doctor says that the bullet cleanly did away with the cancerous tissue. Wow. Super. Reminds me of the Mithun (or Rajini) email forward.
• And Kamal (who cares which one) and Asin live happily ever after.

Long live tsunami. May you sweep Kamal away next time and spare me from similar horrors.

My bookshelf...

Talk of being an eclectic reader...i was looking up my bookshelf, and was pleasantly surprised at the range of books i saw in it... and this is just 2% of all books we own...

I decided to catalog my bookshelf as of 1st june 2008 for posterity...

1. Facts and fallacies - Readers digest
2. Falling for an older man - Trisha Alexander
3. The days are just packed - Calvin & Hobbes
4. Mysteries of the unexplained (Readers digest)
5. Classical greece - TimeLife
6. Strategy safari - Henry mintzberg
7. Marketing management - Kotler
8. First Break all the rules
9. Revolutionizing product development - Quantum leaps in speed, efficiency and quality
10. Edward de bono - how to have creative ideas
11. Supply chain management based on Sap systems
12. Hitchhikers guide to galaxy - douglas adams
13. Coming home by nora robers
14. Regency rakes - omnibus
15. Story of Philosophy - will durant
16. A thousand splendid suns
17. Freakonomics
18. People watching
19. The cowgirl and the unexpected wedding
20. Surely you're joking mr feynman
21. Secret code puzzles
22. Assorted romance novels
23. The orion mystery
24. Supply chain management - some vague book
25. Peter pan

Wow...im impressed with me.

Restless feet...

It’s that time of the year again…when my feet get restless and itchy, and im raring to go. Go where??? Anywhere but where I am. Every year, I go through this life-changing (I wish) question and answer session with myself. It starts and ends with where next…
I guess it is the past which has shaped me in this regard. I have never lived in a single place beyond a stretch of five-six years. Only exception was Chennai for seven years. And, now with my 5th anniversary in Blore looming ahead of me (June 8th), I want to move on. After all there are places to go, people to see.

I have never been comfortable with the idea of “Settling down”, either tied to a single place, or single person. Sounds frivolous, but that’s the way it is. I wonder if I should look at returning to Chennai, its been seven years since I lived there for beyond a period of 7 days. Maybe Hyderabad, I love its malls. Or should I go back to Aamchi Mumbai??? The city that never sleeps? Sadly, the only place which I have a possibility of moving to is Gurgaon. And that’s the one city ill never move to. So, that rules my existing option out.

I was in Indore last week, albeit only for a day, and I loved it. More so because of the amazing food you get there, the fact that its malls look better than most Blore malls and the hang outs are open at least till midnight. And best of all, it is safe to shop around at 1030PM with no escort because the evening has just started. Despite that, I cant imagine living there for beyond a period of a few months…
So where does that leave me? With restless feet. With wandering eyes and a inquisitive mind, it’s a good idea for me to start looking for a different city to live in. To get used to. To set up house in. Till the restless feet strike again

Some of my favorite lyrics...

Was listening to some hindi numbers a few days ago, and I realized that there were many lyrics which I re-played a zillion times….and so here are some of those

From Ram Teri Ganga Maili

“Ek Raadhaa, Ek Meera Donon Ne Shyaam Ko Chaaha
Antar Kya Donon Ki Chaah Mein Bolo
Ik Prem Deewaani, Ik Daras Deewaani
Ek Raadhaa, Ek Meera ...”

And the last few lines of the same song

“... Ek Raani Ek Daasee, Donon Hari Prem Ki Pyaasi
Antar Kya Donon Ki Tripti Mein Bolo
Ek Jeet Na Maanee, Ek Haar Na Maani”

From Lekin (Yaara sili sili)
The last stanza...

“Pairon mein na saayi koi, sar pe na sayee re,
Mere saath jaaye na meri parchayi re
Bahar ujala hai, andar viranaa”

From Rudaali (Dil Hoom hoom kare)

“Jis tan ko chhua tune, us tan ko chhupaaoon
Jis man ko laage naina, voh kisko dikhaaoon
O more chandrama, teri chaandni ang jalaaye
Teri oonchi ataari maine pankh liye katwaaye”

From Junoon’s Azaadi (Though its a pretty old Doha)

Khudhi ko kar buland itna, ki har taqdir se pehle
Khuda bande se khudh pooche, bataa teri razaa kyaa hai???

From Shree 420’s (Pyaar Hua...)

“Raatein dason dishaon se, kahenge apni kahaaniyaan
Geet hamare pyaar ke, doharayengein jawaniyaan
Mein na rahoongi, tum na rahoge,
phir bhi rahengi nishaaniyaan”

From Satte Pe Satta (Pyaar humein kis...)
(The whole song...but the prologue takes the cake)

“Pyaar mein jab bhi aankh kahin lad jaaye
Tab dhadkan aur bechaini badh jaaye
Jab koi ginta hai raaton ko tare
Tab samjho use pyaar hogayaa pyaare...”

And

“Battiyaan bujhado ki neend nahin aati hai,
Battiyan bujahane se bhi neend nahin aayegee
Battiyaan bujhane vaali jaane kab aayegi…”

Its a man's world after all...

Ive always believed that its a man's world only to the extent that the woman makes it so, and women who keep cribbing about the "old boys club" and such are probably not trying hard enough. I also believed that while one's background influences beliefs and views, one should not judge the person by their history, coz they may have evolved after that

But of late, my views are changing... and how!

First i end up with an absolute nincompoop on my team who has yet to learn common sense. He has the bloody gall to tell me to my face that women should not be allowed to drive. And that they should be asked to take two driving tests.On one hand, i applaud his honesty...he had no qualms articulating what most men chortle about and discuss in that old boys club. On the other hand, i have to wonder at his foolishness that he makes such a statement to his direct boss who incidentally happens to be...well...me!!! But then, a closer look at his background - he was born and brought up in a small town, and talks small town. Any wonder if he thinks the same way??? Normally, id be ashamed of taking that line of thought (My sense of objectivity usually kicks in)...But now i find myself thinking, why should i apologize for one generalization about small town men when that B$%^&^& made a sweep judgement for all women??

Second was the clincher... In the middle of a discussion in office, one of my bosses(and thats the sad part)is discussing the work of three female colleagues and looks up and says "sorry, but the truth is that all the women in our office are high maintenance". If thats the example of professional attitude, i wonder what sort of a professional firm im working in. I heard the statement, and looked up sharply, to which he amended the statement to "the women we were discussing". Sorry boss, no good. Your small mind shows through neverthless. This from a man who claims to all and sundry to believe in an equal workplace???

And the third was an observation put together over a period of time. We do not have significant female representation in our hierarchy. And recently, i had a conversation which revolved around this topic (i blogged this in the one on the corner cabin)

It is the sad truth. My male colleague+marriage = Settling down, Me + marriage = Slow career which will probably break permanently in a while... Aint it true? Life is a bitch,which is ironical, coz its a man's world after all!!!

Whew. What a week…

I’ve had a very hectic two weeks…Been in Blore, Hyd, Blore, Hyd, Delhi and Blore…The amount of traveling I have done seems to have been endless…and working 14 hour days have become the norm (and I mean effective 14 hours!)…

Life has become more interesting because of the travel. One aspect is that I get to compare airports within a shortspan, and Hyd definitely takes the cake…Another is I think ive actually enjoyed the brainwork of keeping up with different people, different surroundings! And to top it all, I haven’t really lost my cool in certain situations in the past two weeks where normally I’d have blown my top, both professionally and personally.

And, the not so great part, is that the fatigue is catching up with me…I hope it doesn’t set in for a couple of weeks yet. I still have traveling to do next week too – to exotic MP!!! In the past 48 hours, ive had insomnia, muscle pulls in both arms and legs, pretty bad stomach cramps, headaches and eye strain…and im not mentioning the mental torture… I still survived…I do think I need to get a health check done though. Ended up breathless again today, even though it was a relatively easy day with no strenuous physical activity…

But all in all, an incredible week. Tiring in parts, refreshing in others. I learnt what my personal boundaries were, as well as how professionally capable I was. Screwed up some on the job, and some off, but no regrets…it is all in the game, and if I don’t win it, ill learn how to play it better…

Going good on the blog promise thus far…let me see how much I keep this up

For a corner cabin...

Well...thats it. Its official. Im a rat. in the rat race...

How did i come to the conclusion???

Well, for the past few days, ive been working out of cabins in delhi and blr, which are home to an exalted few...Consulting folks would appreciate the meaning of a cabin, and the men (well, sad truth is, there aint no women) in suits...

The more i sit in a cabin, the more i want one for myself. And i had this conversation with a partner today which went on these lines...

Him: So,you are the type who works morn to noon, 24 hours a day huh???No life, no family...intending to stay single for the next 10 years kya...
Me: (Normally i would have taken off for his intrusion in my life, but was in a mellow mood)...Kya karen sirjee, yeh Firm hi aisa hai...if i want a personal life, its at the cost of a career, aur cabin milna hai tho.....But then, you never know...jo hoga so hoga
Him: Not really, all u need to do is slow down....
Me: Slow down or not, with the exception of one lady, who is married, is there any one beyond director level in this firm
Him: Nahin hain kya????
Me:Ha...thats the point...this place is unfriendly to women
Him: gives me a weird look and changes subject

Now the logic of all this conversation was, that it got me thinking that its a great quandry in life...If i had been male, and this conversation happened, it would have been more on the lines of "teri biwi tera khoon kardegi", and no mention of slowing down...

Coming back to the cabin...As i spoke to him, i made a mention of wanting my own cabin, and a little later it hit me... i really want That Cabin!!! Well thats one quandry out of this window...whether here or elsewhere, i really want that cabin... its upto me to figure out how to do it...

And as for a corner cabin, i assume thats what ill want in a while from getting the cabin...after all those are the top dog's picks

Well, here comes the rat...(sing in Mendehlson's wedding march tune)
Tra-la-la-la

Where do i begin...

These are lyrics i love, and dont want to keep googling for it

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Nana Mouskouri on 6Lyrics.com

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Dr. Zhivago on 6Lyrics.com

Status check...

Havent been blogging in a while now, in fact stopped checking my usual blogroll too... Tinkerbells has blogged with some super news, and ill need to talk to her. Bangalore torpedo stopped blogging, mores the pity.

As for me, its not that ive been run off my feet with work and so havent penned a line or two. More that havent been inclined to do so...From Jan, life seems to have been a flurry of activity. Work. travel. . fun. books. food. Hyderabad. Bangalore. Hyderabad. Bangalore. Some Chennai. Some more Hyd. Some more Blore. Now Delhi. More Hyd. Cell phone. Chat. Did i mention cell phone? Insomnia. More insomnia. IPL. Chennai. Live commentary on sms. More cellphone. More insomnia. My car. Bluetooth. More cellphone.

Life certainly wasnt as happening earlier:)
Am lovin it... and that phrase reminds me that dominoes has released a new stuffed crunch pizza which is absolutely adorably amazing:) On that note, its time for dinner... Ciao